Hi there,sorry no time to update my post yesterday.Thanks for reading my blog,according my stats it reached quite a number of readers,as I dont really publicise my blog,so u really have some fate with me *scribbles on and on .

So today,wanna teach some ways on keeping up complexion,pardon I am not some hot diva or anything but I guess everyone wanna be in their best state..As I stayed up late for a few nights,so my skin turned really dry and pimples start to pop out one by one.So i browsed thru some websites and tadaa found some ways to share with you all.

First,no coffee,perhaps cut down on caffeine.If you really need some caffeine boost,green tea might be a good choice as it acts as antioxidant too.For me ,coffee cause me a lot of troubles-palpitations and really euphoria-thanks to the action of epinephrine.Do you know prolonged consumption will lead to osteoporosis in females :S

2) make some lemon juice for yourself, it contains rich in vitamin C and boost your immune system.A healthy body keeps every part of your body in good condition.

3)Some really easy ways,you can use the water you used to rinse your rice to wash your face,it really soften your skin..I know it sounds kinda disgusting.Hahaha.Some japanese girls recommend you can buy some charcoal sticks not the black ugly ones, they are called bamboo charcoal,you can either boil it in water and drink or cook it along with rice.It’s really good for females.

I know maybe all above are baseless , i found out almost no drugs bring no side effects so i dont really like to use medications-like steroid creams for acnes and pimples.

That’s all,I am still trying new ways to keep myself healthy.Hope it helps me soon and you guys too!!

Chaoz.

现在时间是凌晨3。12 分，我睡不着。我被学业压倒不能呼吸，想到又要搬家，想到辛苦的爸妈最近的财务问题。我是苦恼不得。我的贷学金更本不够。我为什么会笨到选这地方念书啊，我真的好象杀人啊，现在就是这样的感觉。

The time now is 3.12 am.I can’t sleep.All the books and exams had been pushing me hard.I know everyone’s going through the same.Thinking of having to move house again,too much to tell until I dont know how to write it out.Again,my roommate and I went around begging for hostel,I just want a permanent place to stay until my graduation,is it that hard? Facing all rejections and insults from the locals here,I realized something before we achieved something in this world, pride and dignity worth nothing.In fact we’re nothing,nobody will look up to you especially if you’re basically having  nothing-no financial income,no background no status in this cruel society,no education,no talents etc.No,i dont want to be one or I’m not one,you may reply me this.

Everything comes down with 1% inspiration and 99% effort.Luck may play its role but most importantly IS THE WAY how u look at the different edges of life.Whether you want to look at it in an optimistic way,unhappy way ,with anger or grudges towards life-it’s all useless in the end we’ll have to succumb to OUR CREATOR.

We cannot predict what may happen.I always thought the two and healthy trees in my family will be able to provide nutrients and everything we need to us- the seedlings preparing to grow up as big as them.But unfortunately,one of them stumbled first to ILLNESS. An attack from the devil drains away one of the sources for the family.So the other tree have to provide but this time with wrinkled leaves and pain. Finally the tree again succumb to AGE.

Now we as the little trees  could only try our   best to grow up healthy and do what we can to make our aging trees happy despite limited strength.But HOW?

to be continued…

Saw this video somewhere,it’s MAGNIFICENT BEAUTIFUL..INDEED,

EVERYTHING WAS CREATED WITH A REASON-MIRACLES.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSGJgcps5MQ

我的心这几天好伤心，好伤心哦。。不是因为自己。而是为了身边的人，事物。面对这个世界的无常我好无奈。放心吧，我不是想傻事。有时看透了，不知道要如何。这世界为什么不能简简单单呢？就像是卡通里面开开心心。人类为什么要有心呢？它本身就已经很复杂了，为什么还会有自觉呢？没有心又不能，我们需要它活着，需要它来传氧气，营养给我们。

可能不太多管闲事了，管人家干吗？可是我没把办法啊。。我这性格真的要改。太爱牛角尖了。有时候我觉得身边的人都变了，有时候我觉得是不是我不好，他们不喜欢我了。那我就哭了，因为我觉得为什么如果我对人好，还是会有人对我刻薄呢？我有一个好朋友，第一次看到她，就把她当作我的妹妹看待。可是每次当心她怕别人欺负她，她会吃亏。可是我都不喜欢把自己的内心的东西说出来。毕竟她跟我不同年，她该要有自己的圈子。

我很少在别人面前哭，那天就哭了。我的好朋友安慰我说，

《这个世界上，你不能让所有的人喜欢你，但你要知道喜欢你的人就因为有你他们就更快乐啊。 〉

听了这些话，我很感动。她说得对。人为什么要结仇呢？我们来就是空的，去也空的，最重要的事，我问心无愧。或许我真的要想很开很开。我不是小孩了，很多东西我要学会面对。不是每次都要找妈妈。

现在把话都写在这里了，好舒服啊。哈哈。现在我应该把精力放在学习上。好好毕业当个好医生。我还有很多很多梦想呢。。

希望在这得你们读了，什么感觉呢？希望如果你们不开心，听了这首歌会开心吧。

所谓人生犹如过山车，高低转折是永远存在的，凡是平常心来对待，那么成败得失就不会是太可怕的问题了，只要努力付出，便无怨无悔。

人生路上会遇到很多人。时间洗砺后，有些人成了朋友，有些人还是陌路；有些人走到心里，有些人转身就忘；有些人可以一生为知己，还有些人甚至不愿想起。

 

我们加油吧，寻找我们的快乐幸福！！

笑笑哦，丽芳！！ D

 

我的希望就是能在世界的每一个角落给每个人快乐。。

 

 

 

你是这样的等待快乐吗？

记得小时候慢慢学着华语，所以想写华语的博格。

好快啊，现在第三年了，有时还会想起第一年的事，

有些记忆很新鲜，有些我什么都不记得了。或许我更本都不想记得的。

你一定觉得为什么我会选寂寞做我的主题吧？ 或许情人节快到了吧，感触良深。

回家很快乐，看到了，也学到了很多。看到妈妈的笑容。妈妈的爱，我觉得就算全世界讨厌我，都没关系，因为我有妈妈。做父母的很多时候为了孩子都没有想到自己，照顾自己爱的人，往往最后自己的婚姻都没有好好像当年谈恋爱时恩爱甜蜜。

其实人生来都是寂寞的，

所每个人都要好好去找那个能给自己快乐的人。可是其实不容易啊。过去的我看到路边有很恩爱的情侣，都会觉得他们会很快乐得在一起 和结婚。

可是我发现所谓的天下无不散的宴席，有聚必然就有散。每个人走的方向，走的含义，走的心情也会不会一样的。

我们应该好好珍惜身边的人，因为我们更本都不知道他随时都 会消失的。人很现实的，但他对你没感情的时候，他会比陌生人还要陌生的。我们也一样的。真的是人算还不如天算，上帝的每个计划我们真的不知道。我们真的要学会看玻。

其实我会写这些话，不是因为我自己。是我的一位好朋友。最近她变了，虽然她什么都不说不过我感觉到的。最后她也告诉我了。她的男朋友逼她和他结婚，我朋友说她还年轻，还不行。那男生就跟她说分手。说了很多很刻薄的话。很伤我好朋友的心。一个男人的改变好恐怖啊，看到好朋友哭得那么痛苦，喝醉的哭。我心好痛，四年的感情这么的无情玻碎了。不过这让我醒了，想起几个月前为了一个心里都没有我的人哭，还做了很多很笨的事。我很开心我解脱了，现在的我能让身边的人开心我就很开心了。能帮到人我就很满足了。

虽然今年的情人节有落空了，可是我的心却是很开心的，因为有着一个开心的心，和么都不重要了。寂寞也是一种快乐。

妈妈爸爸哥哥弟弟朋友们 加油吧！！

 

看到周围这样让我觉得，上帝，你能帮帮这个世界吗？它好像不再那么美丽了。

不过我会一直等我的快乐幸福来的。我也会加油慢慢把幸福带给人的。。:)

 

Don’t be scared,

destiny will keep you warm,

‘Cos all of the stars are fading away,

Just TRY NOT TO WORRY you’ll see them some day,

take what you need and be one your way,

stop crying your heart out.

 

End of today thoughts.

 

 

 

 

hello blog,

so long since the last update.

First i wanna thank God for all these months.He is the ever wonderful God.

He carved us through adventures and obstacles.Praise him!

Soon,i will be going back malaysia.This winter hols will be a long one..I’m happy i can celebrate chinese new year with my family.I hope everything will goes fine.This time going back Malaysia there is a mission for me,to create salvation for my family.I’m glad that slowly my relatives are gradually becoming christians, and my dad agreed me being a christian.Maybe my dearest one whom is my mum still cannot accept Christ but slowly i can see changes.For i always believe there is nothing impossible through Him.

Another happy thing I’m glad people around me started to go to church,some began reading bible after my baptism trial.I felt proud of them ,especially God.Because they will get close to the Good News and they will feel the great things knowing him just like how i braved through the death valley when He is there to save me.I still remember when a little voice came into my heart saying ”fear not dear,Do not cry.I am here.Go and look for church.”

and there i looked around everywhere i couldnt find ,then my dear sister came and said Would you like to come into church with me.Miracles happen through little things.

I used to be someone who doesnt have goals.all i know was to obey blindly.I do not have hope for anything.But in Him i found out so many things.The spirtual gifts He gave was so precious.

The LORD who created you says: “Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine. When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown! When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you. For I am the LORD, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. I gave Egypt, Ethiopia, and Seba as a ransom for your freedom. Others died that you might live. I traded their lives for yours because you are precious to me. You are honored, and I love you.” Isaiah 43:1-4

Now Christmas is coming,I will singing solo in choir.So happy to go back to my old church and so much fun.I am excited for this coming week to Vladimir ,outskirts of Moscow to perform.May He always be with me.

That’s all i guess.Just some thoughts to share.

Hope you had a great day.Jesus loves you

I know while you reading this,it seems like I’m exaggerate.But i wanna give thanks to Him so much.I have so much to learn through Him.

hello blog,

It’s been months since i last updated.As i need to prepare for class tomorrow,so i cut this post short.hehehe

September was great!!eventhough there are angry,sad events and decisions to made.But now to look back at it,it was worth it!!All thanks to Lord Jesus!!;D

So recently i had severe temptations that I almost got caught by it, i cried out so loudly asking myself why am i caught in this situation again,i’m no longer any young immature little girl but my sos call works.A brother lend this book to me as  I’m looking for it.It’s called Purpose driven life ..40 chapters with God.

Enjoyed reading it..I grew along with it..things were never TOO big or TOO important from the view of God.I actually realized i’m more comfortable with what i chose to do.

Loved this lyrics by Sarah McLachlan,sad but meaningful.

I felt like what it is written inside here.

But I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don’t let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories

I’m so afraid to love you, but more afraid to loose
Clinging to a past that doesn’t let me choose
Once there was a darkness, deep and endless night
You gave me everything you had, oh you gave me light .

OOPS!!OUT OF MY TITLE OF MY POST!!

anyways,back to today.

I heard from my senior that near my apartment there’s a coffee shop selling the world no.1 coffee.I never knew bout this eventhough I’m the one living there..hahaha.Because of my super curiosity,despite myth or not.I went and try one of their coffees.hahaha:P

When i went in,people dressed in very posh and elegant outfits.Well me,typical with my wind breaker and i just went in.The waitress looked at me one kind hahhaa.And the moment i stepped in i knew my order was going to be very very EXPENSIVE!!!

But my goal,i just went and order one latte.hahaha and guess how much it cost

200 roubles!!(nearly RM20) for a small ounces of coffee.

hahaha.despite that,

I loved it!!!! It was bitter yet sweet..it feels like a metaphor for life.Not bad for first time.So I’m done with one of the cafes around my area.So more and more good food to come!!!

BTW,

i kept the cup of the cafe as souvenir (:

the cafe’s name was : COFFEE MANIA..

It's first came with a very nice coffee art,but somehow i ruined it!

OKAY,

that’s all for today!

Hope you enjoyed reading this!!

More sunshines to come..

more grace and blessing from Him,Thank You so much!

BUHBYE

hello blog,

now preparing to study physio.My heart feels so heavy so i guess you are my trash bin.

studying so much until i dunnoe what to do.Sometimes can remember ,sometimes not.so many schemes and pathways.

Bio chem and physio finals are coming soon.Everyone wants full mark, I dun know i can or not but i just do my best.

So many things to think,

ticket problems.I thought everything got settled but suddenly said my tics got cancelled.And me and my friends were put in the reserved list.I dunnoe when can i go back.I dun want my money to get cheated even though the seller ensure we will get our tickets.i got so sick when my frens had that kinda chill chill attitude.All the money is my parents hard earned money.I owed them so much even 1 ringgit is a pain for me.

hostel problems.真的是心力不足。This sem is ending soon ,no news no nothing.Sometimes what we want may not be fulfilled.I know everything we need to hand it to God.But my obstinate and stubborn character always make me try so hard ,in the end also fall so hard.I’m really tired until i went to frunzen park and cry.I could feel the wind brushing me soo hard as to console me.

I dont want anyone to pity me or what .Maybe i’m so used to do everything alone ,eventhough there are people who are always try to help me,I got so afraid i dunnoe how to trust.I am so afraid they will be like my ex best friend who torn my heart to pieces.I really want to change,but it seems maybe in the past i’m like that not many ppl can accept the changed me.

He deleted me from msn and skype.I guess we couldnt be friends like I hope..Last time i always hope i can see him more but except lectures i never met him.This week funny thing i met him like so many times..In the beginning I thought i cannot take it but strangely i found out another truth.

I FALL FOR SOMEONE ELSE.

faraway

Hello there,

i’m back now.This few days will be quite relaxed as i got my surgery care credit already.

Few days ago,

I am so stressed up over so many stuffs, hostel,studies,time management,tickets.

Thank God ,He’s been listening to my prayers and slowly he is lifting the problems in me as the bible verse goes : Phillipian 4:6

”Dont worry bout anything but in everything by petition and prayer,with thanksgiving present your request to God.”

Slowly,i felt the Almighty one giving me signal so i am sharing my testimony and i want to glorify His name,

Hallelujah to the Eternal one.

Bout tickets,

I finally found the date i want and friends to go back with.All thanks to God because i am fretting that i havent bought my ticket and i’m all alone as my friends booked earlier date.

I thought of going back late as I wanna to get hostel but to think of it I hand it to God,

i will do anything i could,but everything He wants will be blessed to me.

and God made me grow stronger over all those obstacles..

And my finals is coming,I hope God will be with me always no matter in studies,life,relationship with God.

Second,i wrote in my previous post.

I couldn’t get over him,

but it turns out God let me forgot him slowly,you are so faraway from me now and the memories will always be an experience for me to become a better person.

i found out when i saw him in lecture today,it really doesnt feel the same way anymore.am i in love with an another person?

I knew this person before even i met him because been hearing a lot bout him (bad things in fact ),even though i dont care to listen.

Then began to know this person and seriously the feeling is very weird, dunnoe how to explain it so i define it  as CRUSH but i dont think so it is after several attempts.

Maybe he is another brother in Christ and seriously i just see how God arranges all this.I dont want myself to look like a silly girl and i’m not anxious in this.

In fact, I hope i could do more in God ,Let’s hope he will give me tasks soon to do.

and of course my studies,the main purpose coming here.

Pray that we wouldn’t be lazy so we can focus more and study hard,obtain the knowledge and become a doctor .

I want to fulfill my dream in doing humanitarian work around the world.

Lord,

I always want to pray to you that You will bless this country,Russia .You know that this country had bomb attacks last week.Please protect us, brothers and sisters and the non-believers.Let them know your power and grace.

Let us be not afraid as You will not leave us or forsake us.

Amen.

Thank you Lord Father in heaven,

my saviour

now and forever.

After reading physio,took a break and chanced upon youtube’s videos..Found this song.

About a week ago,my heart fell to the sink,i dont know what i want or what my heart really feels.

Coming here thinking how to get over the medical years when the subjects are getting tougher,

still have to spent so much for another few years, what i got isn’t enough at all. Now fretting over the overcrowded hostel, I felt so empty and now because i do not want to see my mum in tears ,i couldnt get to church anymore.I ‘ve promised her. Now,my main priority is just my family and my studies..After all those,I felt everything doesnt seem that big anymore,did i  grow up that much? sometimes i just want to have a happy uni life,i’ve always imagined how people gather around the campfire near the beach while hearing the seawaves.

Always thought no one could really understands me.That’s he thing that made people so tired.Sometimes you want to find people to rant all your sorrows but I’m just afraid they know too much.How tired.I think onlythe Lord knows who i am.

Looking at the cloudy night sky,

i just want to rest and think what i will be in another 5 years.Am  i still a girl who still worries a lot..OR a girl who’ve regained freedom.

saw this song.by angela zhang. I felt like i am in the lyrics.

其實很愛你(偶像劇屋頂上的綠寶石主題歌)
主唱:張韶涵
作曲:阿沁
作詞:阿沁

離開不會太悲傷
有些心情該釋放
直到眼淚它自己落下
才發現騙不了自己其實很愛你

現在學著去遺忘
躲開有你的地方
回憶被誰放在書架上
把他從最高的地方落下

感動越是深刻　寂寞就越傷人　喔
每個人的心裏都會有一段傷痕
像白紙的天真　反覆被你傷的好深
相愛不需要理由　離開也沒有理由　挽留

現在學著去遺忘
躲開有你的地方
回憶被誰放在書架上
把他從最高的地方落下

感動越是深刻　寂寞就越傷人　喔
每個人的心裏都會有一段傷痕
像白紙的天真　彷佛被你傷的好深
相愛不需要理由　離開也沒有理由　挽留

感動越是深刻　寂寞就越傷人　喔
每個人的心裏都會有一段傷痕
像白紙的天真　彷佛被你傷的好深
相愛不需要理由　離開也沒有理由　挽留

after holidays,i put away all your stuffs,even your MP3.Thinking with those away i would not think of you anymore.I am too naive.

I dont know now do i still love you?

i felt weird when i am there.maybe it’s just awkward.

My HEART totally stops breathing for you after what you did after anatomy finals.

But i’m actually lying to myself.Why i cant feel anything for other guy anymore eventhough he understands me a lot more.Why is it still you?after all what you do.

Maybe this is so called not ready yet…Maybe i’m still too young.

But what i can know is :

I DO NOT WANT TO LOVE YOU AGAIN ANYMORE.

Father,if You could hear me,if i could cast all my worries to you,please take it away.please let me be stronger facing obstacles in life.

Card for my loved ones in Malaysia.Hope you guys liked it (:

This blog is for those for have fate with me so they will be able to read all these.

May this 2010 be a new beginning for everyone!

Once again,Happy new year.

С нобый годом !

may all happiness be with us (: